Coffee Anyone?

 A Black and White Wednesday

The coffee cup slowly warmed my finger tips, taking away the morning goose bumps, which almost always follows the aching motion and meeting of the frigid tile floors after my cozy slumber. I stood at the balcony. Half awake. My hand opposite of the coffee sat against the cold window. I watched as my fingers delicately created a fog. I looked out at the hills. Beyond the patches of green and brown was another village. I couldn't help but wonder what type of people it consisted of. Are they dreamers? Are they teachers? Do they have a morning routine? Where are their families? Do they know that they are loved? Do they know how to love? I wonder. I wondered. I have always been a wonder-er. A bird flew across the sky, breaking my concentration. I let my fingers slide down the glass, leaving a trail of moisture from the haze. It evaporated. I took another sip of my coffee. This time smelling the aromas.

"T h i s  f e e l s  g o o d ." 

I thought.

No matter what, every morning, I allow myself some time.

Time to c r e a t e.

Time to p o n d e r.

Time to r e f l e c t.

As much as I adore sitting down with my son, reading to him, and 

enjoying a morning of learning and interaction...

As much as I look forward to the treasured moments of 

intimacy and conversation with my beloved....

As much passion as I have about being a mother and a wife, making meals, and intricately making sure our home is full of life and love......

I avidly thrive off my idle sessions of seclusion. 

In these moments of solitude I am alone with, obviously, myself. 

Doing the waltz with my own thoughts.

Having good conversation about the things only oneself would understand.

I am vulnerable to no one else but me.

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Being vulnerable is something that is very difficult for me to do in front of others. For some unsettling reason I feel as if I need to put up a show. Not the kind of show where I shine and look as if I am unstoppable, with that glorious smile on my face. But the kind of show where I pretend my skin is tough as leather. The kind of show where I've got it all together. When the truth is,  I don't. Who actually has it all together? If you know someone, send them my way; because, I'd love a few pointers on how to make it happen! Anyways--- the point is, I do not like this about myself. I think people who have the ability, or for a better word...the COURAGE... to be vulnerable are so alluring. Those brave people who allow themselves to really let their feelings show and be unapologetic about it! Those beautiful people who are not afraid to simply be mad at the world when the world deserves it! Those astounding people who ride with the wind instead of fighting it. I feel like these are the people who are getting the most out of their lives. And that is what I would like to work a little harder at, being unapologetic about the way that I feel. I want that to be something that I can be proud of. Something that you can see through every work of art I create. Every song that I sing. Every word that I write. It is truly a beautiful thing. 

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My son crawled into my lap. With his juice in one hand and a vanilla wafer in the other. We sat next to the window and together watched the wind blow. Our neighbor was outside, watering his garden, and just enjoying the breeze. The wind made the water dance. 

. s w o o s h .  s w i s h .  s w o o s h .

The water splashed his face. He stuck his delicate, yet strong, hand into his pocket to reach for his handkerchief. He wiped the water from his brow and moved along to his bed of roses.

Mr. Werner is always dedicated.

Every single day.

Unapologetic. Courageous. Brilliant. Determined.

Vulnerable.

Happy Wednesday. 

-XO-

L