Ciao, you darling two thousand eleven.

/ Saturday, December 31, 2011 /
Well my goodness. How are you? 

It's been a while hasn't it? I am finally in Germany. Typing on my iMac. In my new home. It's the last day of the year 2011. Looking back it has most certainly been filled with many wonderful and exciting experience, balanced out with some very emotional and trying experiences as well. There is no hesitation if you were to ask me if I regretted anything in 2011. The answer is quickly and simply, no. All I have to do is look over at my little boy, sitting there in his chair, nibbling on his apple pieces and watching Go Diego! Go! That boy is my hearts and soul desire. I am sure that I write about this in every post, but it has become one of the most serious, and potentially the very pure honest reason, why I am the woman I am today.

I am a woman that is full of flaws and I could certainly do a number of things differently; however, when I think about my future.. I see the face of my son, along with a very prosperous envision of  the things to come for me. For a while now, the Lord has made it very clear to me that I am here in Germany for a reason. I really feel there is going to be a rise in my photography in many different senses. Which brings me to my next subject...

My goals for the year 2012: 

1. Photography Business- For years now, I have had a list of "dream things" that I have always needed in order to start a photography business, and my darling husband has made it his ultimate goal to make those dream things a reality. So, now all I need to do is muster up some confidence and put on my big girl panties and get this show on the road!

2. Learn German- I think this one is an obvious goal. After just arriving here in Germany, it is no surprise that people hear indeed do speak German. I am a lover of all people and their cultures. I am not the type of person who expects people to conform in order to make me comfortable. I would much rather be the one who is making others comfortable, and I know that a language barrier can create discomfort, so... here's to learning German! ;)

3. Balance- I just want some balance. Not in my life, not in my home, but in my soul. I will admit, having a baby, having Michael home from Iraq and spending a REAL whole year with him (not that this is a bad thing, lol!), and moving all over the place... it's all made me feel a little distant from myself. Lately, I have been feeling a little lost and spiritually all over the place, and I don't care for that feeling too much. So this year I plan on really learning how to maintain and balance all the dependency people have on me and my own peace of mind to feel more centered and together. I think it is such a beautiful thing for a person to truly feel balanced and centered within themselves. Not only is it beautiful, but it is quite powerful as well!

4. Being a better Wife, Mom, Daughter, Sister, and Friend- If there's one thing I cannot stand about myself, it's my lack of patience and my ability to be a bit selfish. See, that's two things, which really shows why I need to work on this. It is exhausting when there are many people who expect so much out of you, but at the same time... I feel that God would not allow these people to expect what they do out me, if He didn't think that I could measure up to it all. Even though I am not a horrible Wife, Mom, Daughter, Sister, or Friend.. I could most certainly be a whole lot better. This year, I want to really work on my relationships in general and truly get the most out of them. I love the people who are close to me and I want to make sure to treat them with the utmost respect.

5. Be productive-
Just simply BE PRODUCTIVE. Actually stick to a goal. Actually have a business. Actually learn German. Actually have balance. Actually be a better person. I am so tired of being full of excuses. I know that my life is not at its peak. I know that I am capable of so much more than I allow myself to handle. I know that I can be a successful, beautiful, genuine, honest, woman of God and I need to start living up to my real potential. So that is what the year 2012 is all about for me.

It's not a resolution. It's a solution. If that even makes any sense, ha!

I love you guys. And it's such a pleasure to have you with me on this journey. Whoever you are. Thank God for you!!

With all the love I am capable of,

Happy New Years! This one's for you!


{ thekaseyjackson } on: December 31, 2011 at 10:10 AM said...

Love this! I started typing out my goals for this next year yesterday too. There is something liberating and (and somewhat terrifying) about having them typed out. They are inescapable! blessings on your new adventures! :)

{ Esther Perez de Vargas } on: January 2, 2012 at 4:10 AM said...

Happy New Year to you and your family!!! I'm very glad to see to again here, I was really missing your always constructive words. I'm so happy that you are having a nice time at Germany and that you are getting used to your new home. I've read your goals for this new year and they are very nice. I think it's important to learn the language of your new country, in this way you're tearing down a barrier with your neighbours and you will have easier and closer relationships with germans. On the other way I'm fascinated with your idea of making a Photography Business with your husband!! You both are fantastic photographers and I think you can be successful with this business. Please you have to tell us some tips about how is going to be your business, it's a very interesting idea.
You say you want to be a better person, I think you're an extraordinary person so I wonder in what way you want to improve your way of being?? Why?? Anyway I know that it's important to get satisfied with oneself, so I understand you, but please, don't be too perfeccionist.
Well Lindsey I hope you fullfil your goals or at least at the end of this year you're much more close to them.
I hope we can keep in touch through Kik, I know it's my fault because I don't like very much to chat, but in your case I will try.
Thousand of kisses,
E. (nachma)

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